Garrison Keillor quotes - Page : 2

" Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people. " # Modern and Modernism # Greed # Vanity

" The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons, hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who believe Neil Armstrong's moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt's evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of information and of secular institutions, whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk. " # Books - Reading # Life and Living # Taxes and Taxation

" One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who don't understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit. " # Debt # Committees and Meetings # Negotiation

" Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists in the room will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke. " # Humor # Laughter # America

" The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles. " # Jokes and Jokers

" Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze. " # Parents and Parenting # Age and Aging # Children

" Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted. " # Children # Cities and City Life # Life and Living

" A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. " # Christmas # Love # Friends and Friendship

" Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known. " # Luck # Lies and Lying # Intelligence and Intellectuals

" To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich. " # Writers and Writing