Lewis Grizzard quotes

" It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. " # Food and Eating

" Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. " # Leaders and Leadership # Teams and Teamwork # Change

" I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married. " # Marriage # Family # Home

" Instead of getting married again. I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. " # Marriage # Love # Women

" Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn. " # Love

" You ain't from around here are you? Don't lie and say you're from Florida, that accent says New Jersey. " # Mothers # Love # Lies and Lying

" Real estate agents are God's plague on mankind when locusts are out of season. " # Vision # Home # Love

" Lewis Grizzard’s advice to Atlantans in case of nuclear war: If you live on the south side of Atlanta (read: "Et-lanna"), get on I-75 and go south. If you live of the north side of Atlanta get on I-75 and go north. If you are a Yankee get on 285. " # Advice # Books - Reading # War

" Life is like a dog-sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. " # Cats # Teams and Teamwork # Change

" Yankees ain't real sure how smart we are. Cause we talk slowly, and move slowly. They don't know we thinkin' all that time. " # Music # Love # Intelligence and Intellectuals