Matt Groening quotes

" Families are about love overcoming emotional torture. " # Family # Love # Torture

" Where do babies come from? Don't bother asking adults. They lie like pigs. However, diligent independent research and hours of playground consultation have yielded fruitful, if tentative, results. There are several theories. Near as we can figure out, it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark. We believe it is similar to dogs when they act peculiar and ride each other. This is called "making love". Careful study of popular song lyrics, advertising catch-lines, TV sitcoms, movies, and T-Shirt inscriptions offers us significant clues as to its nature. Apparently it makes grown-ups insipid and insane. Some graffiti was once observed that said "sex is good." All available evidence, however, points to the contrary. " # Love # Advertising # Sex

" Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy? " # Life and Living

" Warning signs that lover is bored:
1. Passionless kisses
2. Frequent sighing
3. Moved, left no forwarding address. " # Life and Living # Love # Kisses and Kissing

" I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't care " # Enjoyment

" My tastes are much more obscure than you think. The other day, this reporter asked me who my favorite Spice Girl was and I was like, 'I dunno, but ask me about percussion ensembles from Senegal'. " # Cooperation # Taste # Obscurity

" Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. " # Love # Age and Aging # Labor

" Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. " # Love # Dance and Dancing # Happiness

" Yes, I'll sign your doll. I like to give my autograph to anyone, anytime, anywhere. But why be happy with just an autograph? How about an original sketch or a snippet of my hair? Don't forget to pull on the beard; they say it's good luck! " # Thoughts and Thinking # Luck # Happiness

" People are throwing panties at you. They certainly never do that at my book-signings. " # Books - Reading