P G Wodehouse quotes

" If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. " # Life and Living

" Aunt Agatha is like an elephant—not so much to look at, for in appearance she resembles more a well-bred vulture, but because she never forgets. " # Writers and Writing # Memory # Freedom

" On the cue 'five aunts' I had given at the knees a trifle, for the thought of being confronted with such a solid gaggle of aunts, even if those of another, was an unnerving one. Reminding myself that in this life it is not aunts that matter, but the courage that one brings to them, I pulled myself together. " # Courage # Prayer # Love

" I was expecting Pop Bassett to give an impersonation of a bomb falling on an ammunition dump, but he didn’t. Instead, he continued to exhibit that sort of chilly stiffness which you see in magistrates when they’re fining people five quid for boyish peccadilloes. " # Arts and Artists # Fame # Sex

" To my daughter Leonora without whose never failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been completed in half the time. " # Books - Reading # Failure # Love

" At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies. " # Pessimism # Age and Aging # Management

" The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. " # Sports

" It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. " # Life and Living # Apologies # Excuses

" Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good. " # Critics and Criticism

" Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious. " # Love