P J O Rourke quotes

" When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. " # Congress # Money # Slavery

" Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. " # Government # Money # Automobiles

" You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money. " # Poverty and The Poor

" Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes. " # World

" I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a learning experience. Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a learning experience. It makes me feel less stupid. " # Twentieth Century # Experience # Behavior

" Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college. " # Education # Colleges and Universities # Stupidity

" A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. " # Life and Living # Stupidity # Liberals

" I am a journalist and, under the modern journalist's code of Olympian objectivity (and total purity of motive), I am absolved of responsibility. We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scurry. " # Journalism and Journalists # Love # Motivation

" Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes. They will submit to any indignity, perform any vile act, do anything to achieve power. The worst off-sloughings of the planet are the ingredients of sovereignty. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us. " # Authority # Democracy # Parliament

" Saddam Hussein was reduced to the Unabomber — Ted Kaczynski — a nutcase hiding in the sticks. Sure, the terrorism by his supporters is frightening. Hence, its name, 'terrorism.' Killing innocent people by surprise is not called 'a thousand points of light.' But, as frightening as terrorism is, it's the weapon of losers. The minute somebody sets off a suicide bomb, you can be sure that person doesn't have 'career prospects.' And no matter how horrendous a terrorist attack is, it's still conducted by losers. Winners don't need to hijack airplanes. Winners have an Air Force. " # Defense # Love # Winners and Winning