Phyllis Diller quotes

" Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. " # Housework # Age and Aging # Children

" Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. " # Madness

" Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. " # Children # Choice # Home

" My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. " # Law and Lawyers # Love # Mothers

" Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. " # Humor

" Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight. " # Anger

" A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. " # Smile # Love # Sales

" I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? " # Words # Marriage # Husbands

" Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. " # Age and Aging

" We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. " # Children # Money # Life and Living