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Stephen Colbert
: I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
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Stephen Colbert quote-I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least....
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Denis Diderot :
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Morals are in all countries the result of legislation and government; they are not African or Asian or European: they are good or bad.
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John Selden :
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He that has not religion to govern his morality, is not a dram better than my mastiff-dog; so long as you stroke him, and please him, and do not pinch him, he will play with you as finely as may be, he is a very good moral mastiff; but if you hurt him, he will fly in your face, and tear out your throat.
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Lawrence Kudlow :
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Either you believe in markets, or you believe in government.
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Gerhard Kocher :
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Believe me - the Government will help you anytime it needs you.
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Tom Robbins :
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Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
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Woody Allen :
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I believe there is something out there watching over us – unfortunately it's the government.
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Elbert Hubbard :
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So long as governments set the example of killing their enemies, private citizens will occasionally kill their.s
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Henry David Thoreau :
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I heartily accept the motto, "That government is best which governs least"; and I should like to see it acted up to more rapidly and systematically. Carried out, it finally amounts to this, which also I believe — "That government is best which governs not at all"; and when men are prepared for it, that will be the kind of government which they will have.
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H L Mencken :
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I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.
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George Carlin :
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I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me.
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Gordon Smith :
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I believe that the Government's first duty is to defend its citizens, to defend them against the harms that come out of hate.
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Stephen Colbert Wisdom feed
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Stephen Colbert:
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I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the "No Fact Zone". Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term.
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Stephen Colbert:
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Such a proud moment of professionalism. You work for years crafting cogent satirical essays and the thing that everybody remembers is me making love to a Chiquita and bursting into laughter. What you can't see off camera is Jon started laughing first. And then I'm weak. As much as I want to make the audience laugh, I really want to make Jon laugh.
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Stephen Colbert:
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Before I get started, if anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
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Stephen Colbert:
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I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit.
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Stephen Colbert:
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I believe in America. I believe it exists. My gut tells me I live there. I feel that it extends from the Atlantic to the Pacific, and I strongly believe it has fifty states. And I cannot wait to see how the Washington Post spins that one tomorrow.
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Stephen Colbert:
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That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going to say "I did look it up, and that's not true." That's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Next time, look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works.
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Stephen Colbert:
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Somebody pinch me. You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face. Is he really not here tonight? Dammit.
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Stephen Colbert:
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I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound - with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.
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Stephen Colbert:
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I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
"
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Stephen Colbert:
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I've got a theory about how to handle these retired generals causing all this trouble: Don't let them retire! Come on, we've got a stop-loss program; let's use it on these guys. I've seen Zinni and that crowd on Wolf Blitzer. If you're strong enough to go on one of those pundit shows, you're strong enough to stand on a bank of computers and order men into battle. Come on.
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![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=76722&author=Stephen Colbert"e=I+believe+the+government+that+governs+best+is+the+government+that+governs+least.+And+by+these+standards%2C+we+have+set+up+a+fabulous+government+in+Iraq.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F13652%2FStephen_Colbert_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=19586&author=Denis Diderot"e=++Morals+are+in+all+countries+the+result+of+legislation+and+government%3B+they+are+not+African+or+Asian+or+European%3A+they+are+good+or+bad.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F338%2FDenis_Diderot_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=19638&author=John Selden"e=++He+that+has+not+religion+to+govern+his+morality%2C+is+not+a+dram+better+than+my+mastiff-dog%3B+so+long+as+you+stroke+him%2C+and+please+him%2C+and+do+not+pinch+him%2C+he+will+play+with+you+as+finely+as+may+be%2C+he+is+a+very+good+moral+mastiff%3B+but+if+you+hurt+him%2C+he+will+fly+in+your+face%2C+and+tear+out+your+throat.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F1452%2FJohn_Selden_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=93886&author=Lawrence Kudlow"e=Either+you+believe+in+markets%2C+or+you+believe+in+government.%0A&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14367%2FLawrence+Kudlow_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=43060&author=Gerhard Kocher"e=++Believe+me+-+the+Government+will+help+you+anytime+it+needs+you.+&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F7950%2FGerhard_Kocher_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=54745&author=Tom Robbins"e=Disbelief+in+magic+can+force+a+poor+soul+into+believing+in+government+and+business.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F3503%2FTom+Robbins_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=66966&author=Woody Allen"e=I+believe+there+is+something+out+there+watching+over+us+%E2%80%93+unfortunately+it%27s+the+government.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F113%2FWoody+Allen_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=65469&author=Elbert Hubbard"e=So+long+as+governments+set+the+example+of+killing+their+enemies%2C+private+citizens+will+occasionally+kill+their.s&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F170%2FElbert_Hubbard_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=112682&author=Henry David Thoreau"e=I+heartily+accept+the+motto%2C+%22That+government+is+best+which+governs+least%22%3B+and+I+should+like+to+see+it+acted+up+to+more+rapidly+and+systematically.+Carried+out%2C+it+finally+amounts+to+this%2C+which+also+I+believe+%E2%80%94+%22That+government+is+best+which+governs+not+at+all%22%3B+and+when+men+are+prepared+for+it%2C+that+will+be+the+kind+of+government+which+they+will+have.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F8209%2FHenry+David+Thoreau_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=45205&author=H L Mencken"e=I+believe+that+all+government+is+evil%2C+and+that+trying+to+improve+it+is+largely+a+waste+of+time.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F8014%2FH+L+Mencken_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=73820&author=George Carlin"e=I+have+certain+rules+I+live+by.+My+first+rule%3A+I+don%27t+believe+anything+the+government+tells+me.%0A&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F1360%2FGeorge+Carlin_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=109693&author=Gordon Smith"e=I+believe+that+the+Government%27s+first+duty+is+to+defend+its+citizens%2C+to+defend+them+against+the+harms+that+come+out+of+hate.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F15074%2FGordon_Smith_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=76724&author=Stephen Colbert"e=I+give+people+the+truth%2C+unfiltered+by+rational+argument.+I+call+it+the+%22No+Fact+Zone%22.+Fox+News%2C+I+hold+a+copyright+on+that+term.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F13652%2FStephen_Colbert_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=76714&author=Stephen Colbert"e=Such+a+proud+moment+of+professionalism.+You+work+for+years+crafting+cogent+satirical+essays+and+the+thing+that+everybody+remembers+is+me+making+love+to+a+Chiquita+and+bursting+into+laughter.+What+you+can%27t+see+off+camera+is+Jon+started+laughing+first.+And+then+I%27m+weak.+As+much+as+I+want+to+make+the+audience+laugh%2C+I+really+want+to+make+Jon+laugh.%0A&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F13652%2FStephen_Colbert_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=76715&author=Stephen Colbert"e=Before+I+get+started%2C+if+anybody+needs+anything+else+at+their+tables%2C+just+speak+slowly+and+clearly+into+your+table+numbers.+Someone+from+the+NSA+will+be+right+over+with+a+cocktail.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F13652%2FStephen_Colbert_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=76716&author=Stephen Colbert"e=I+believe+democracy+is+our+greatest+export.+At+least+until+China+figures+out+a+way+to+stamp+it+out+of+plastic+for+three+cents+a+unit.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F13652%2FStephen_Colbert_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=76717&author=Stephen Colbert"e=I+believe+in+America.+I+believe+it+exists.+My+gut+tells+me+I+live+there.+I+feel+that+it+extends+from+the+Atlantic+to+the+Pacific%2C+and+I+strongly+believe+it+has+fifty+states.+And+I+cannot+wait+to+see+how+the+Washington+Post+spins+that+one+tomorrow.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F13652%2FStephen_Colbert_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=76718&author=Stephen Colbert"e=That%27s+where+the+truth+lies%2C+right+down+here+in+the+gut.+Do+you+know+you+have+more+nerve+endings+in+your+gut+than+you+have+in+your+head%3F+You+can+look+it+up.+I+know+some+of+you+are+going+to+say+%22I+did+look+it+up%2C+and+that%27s+not+true.%22+That%27s+%27cause+you+looked+it+up+in+a+book.+Next+time%2C+look+it+up+in+your+gut.+I+did.+My+gut+tells+me+that%27s+how+our+nervous+system+works.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F13652%2FStephen_Colbert_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=76719&author=Stephen Colbert"e=Somebody+pinch+me.+You+know+what%3F+I%27m+a+pretty+sound+sleeper%2C+that+may+not+be+enough.+Somebody+shoot+me+in+the+face.+Is+he+really+not+here+tonight%3F+Dammit.%0A&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F13652%2FStephen_Colbert_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=76720&author=Stephen Colbert"e=I+stand+by+this+man.+I+stand+by+this+man+because+he+stands+for+things.+Not+only+for+things%2C+he+stands+on+things.+Things+like+aircraft+carriers+and+rubble+and+recently+flooded+city+squares.+And+that+sends+a+strong+message%2C+that+no+matter+what+happens+to+America%2C+she+will+always+rebound+-+with+the+most+powerfully+staged+photo+ops+in+the+world.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F13652%2FStephen_Colbert_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=76723&author=Stephen Colbert"e=I%27ve+got+a+theory+about+how+to+handle+these+retired+generals+causing+all+this+trouble%3A+Don%27t+let+them+retire%21+Come+on%2C+we%27ve+got+a+stop-loss+program%3B+let%27s+use+it+on+these+guys.+I%27ve+seen+Zinni+and+that+crowd+on+Wolf+Blitzer.+If+you%27re+strong+enough+to+go+on+one+of+those+pundit+shows%2C+you%27re+strong+enough+to+stand+on+a+bank+of+computers+and+order+men+into+battle.+Come+on.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F13652%2FStephen_Colbert_64x64.png){kind=link}