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Nuclear Age
Eddie Izzard
: And then Darwin wrote a book called: Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey YOU!
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Eddie Izzard quote-And then Darwin wrote a book called: Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey...
Wisdom feed seeded by this
quote
Be First To
Malcolm De Chazal :
"
Monkeys are superior to men in this: when a monkey looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey.
"
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Howard Cosell :
"
Look at that little monkey go.
"
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4
tweets
Aleister Crowley :
"
It sometimes strikes me that the whole of science is a piece of impudence; that nature can afford to ignore our impertinent interference. If our monkey mischief should ever reach the point of blowing up the earth by decomposing an atom, and even annihilated the sun himself, I cannot really suppose that the universe would turn a hair.
"
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W S Gilbert :
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...a Man, however well-behav’d, At best is only a monkey shav’d!
"
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Source Unknown :
"
After listening to a lecture on evolution by a science professor, a student wrote a poem and titled it The Amazing Professor. The poem read: Once I was a tadpole when I began to begin. Then I was a frog with my tail tucked in. Next I was a monkey on a coconut tree. Now I am a doctor with a Ph.D.
"
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28
tweets
Mark Twain :
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I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.
"
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Peter Gabriel :
"
Fox the fox Rat on the the rat You can ape the ape I know about that There is one thing you must be sure of I can't take any more Darling, don't you monkey with the monkey.
"
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Henry David Thoreau :
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We worship not the Graces, nor the Parcae, but Fashion. She spins and weaves and cuts with full authority. The head monkey at Paris puts on a traveler's cap, and all the monkeys in America do the same.
"
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Be First To
Peter Gabriel :
"
Shock the monkey to live.
"
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Peter Gabriel :
"
Shock the monkey to life.
"
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Eddie Izzard Wisdom feed
1
tweets
Eddie Izzard:
"
Beekeepers, yes… They've gotta want to be – "I want to be a beekeeper! I wanna keep bees! Don't wanna let them get away; I wanna keep them! They have too much freedom … I want bees on elastic, so when they get pollen, they come back here! My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him; I wanna walk in their footsteps … and their footsteps were like this: [running wildly from imaginary bees] I'M COVERED IN BEES!!
"
# Adversity
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1
tweets
Eddie Izzard:
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Yes, and the Crusades were, "We kill you in the name of Jesus!" "Wait, we have Jesus too! He's a prophet in our religion! We kill you in the name of Jesus!" "Do you? Well, we kill you for your dark skin, for Jesus was a white man from Oxford!" "No, he wasn't! He was from Judea! Dark-skinned man, such as we!" "Look, it's just we've come all this way. Would you mind awfully if we hacked you to bits? Just for the press back home."
"
# Colleges and Universities
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Eddie Izzard:
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There's no Church of England fundamentalism. We can't have Church of England fundamentalism. You know, like they have Islamic fundamentalism. Jihad! … Ah ha … Church of England fundamentalism is impossible because you can't have: "You must have tea and cake with the vicar... or you die!"
"
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Eddie Izzard:
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"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon." "Never heard of that one before. Five Hail Mary's and six Hello Dolly's." "Bless me, Father, for I have slept with my next door neighbor's wife." "Heard it! I want an original sin." "Oh, terribly sorry."
"
# Marriage
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Eddie Izzard:
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Two languages in one head? No one can live at that speed! Good Lord man, you're asking the impossible! "But, the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!" Well … yes, but they're cheating! Everyone knows that marijuana is... a drug enhancement that helps you on track and field to come last ... in a team of eight million … eight million other runners who are all ... dead.
"
# Drugs
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Eddie Izzard:
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"I've wiped the file? .... I've wiped all the files? .... I've wiped the INTERNET? I don't even have a modem!"
"
# Internet
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# Taxes and Taxation
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Eddie Izzard:
"
"Give us cash! I steal from the rich and give to the poor! I’m trying to be a myth; give us cash!” “No, I’m not gonna give you cash.” “Go on, I steal from the rich. Are you rich?” “No, I’m… comfortable.” “That’s no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That’s not gonna swing, is it?”
"
# Money
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Eddie Izzard:
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"My name is Mrs. Smith, I’ve made apples out of bread and dripping, a bit of green paint, and corrugated iron." "No, these are horrible apples, Mrs. Smith. Go away, Mrs. Smith! Go away until your daughter has a baby." "Shag, daughter, shag! It’s a marketing idea, shag for babies! (mimes running back) My daughter’s had a baby, I’m Granny Smith now!" "Come in, Granny Smith! You're a wonderful idea, you! Come in with your shiny apples."
"
# Cities and City Life
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Eddie Izzard:
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If you've never seen an Elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.
"
# Anger
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Eddie Izzard:
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Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion – they're two words which are both … different. In spelling.
"
# Philosophers and Philosophy
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![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=89980&author=Eddie Izzard"e=And+then+Darwin+wrote+a+book+called%3A+Monkey%2C+monkey%2C+monkey%2C+monkey%2C+monkey%2C+monkey+YOU%21&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14218%2FEddie_Izzard_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=28797&author=Malcolm De Chazal"e=++Monkeys+are+superior+to+men+in+this%3A+when+a+monkey+looks+into+a+mirror%2C+he+sees+a+monkey.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F11477%2FMalcolm+De+Chazal_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=77480&author=Howard Cosell"e=Look+at+that+little+monkey+go.%0A&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F7142%2FHoward_Cosell_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=20616&author=Aleister Crowley"e=++It+sometimes+strikes+me+that+the+whole+of+science+is+a+piece+of+impudence%3B+that+nature+can+afford+to+ignore+our+impertinent+interference.+If+our+monkey+mischief+should+ever+reach+the+point+of+blowing+up+the+earth+by+decomposing+an+atom%2C+and+even+annihilated+the+sun+himself%2C+I+cannot+really+suppose+that+the+universe+would+turn+a+hair.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F1368%2FAleister+Crowley_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=84307&author=W S Gilbert"e=...a+Man%2C+however+well-behav%E2%80%99d%2C%0AAt+best+is+only+a+monkey+shav%E2%80%99d%21&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F10735%2FW++S+Gilbert_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=3670&author=Source Unknown"e=++After+listening+to+a+lecture+on+evolution+by+a+science+professor%2C+a+student+wrote+a+poem+and+titled+it+The+Amazing+Professor.+The+poem+read%3A+Once+I+was+a+tadpole+when+I+began+to+begin.+Then+I+was+a+frog+with+my+tail+tucked+in.+Next+I+was+a+monkey+on+a+coconut+tree.+Now+I+am+a+doctor+with+a+Ph.D.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2Fimages_web%2Fauthor_no_icon.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=3669&author=Mark Twain"e=++I+believe+that+our+Heavenly+Father+invented+man+because+he+was+disappointed+in+the+monkey.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F50%2FMark_Twain_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=83461&author=Peter Gabriel"e=Fox+the+fox%0ARat+on+the+the+rat%0AYou+can+ape+the+ape%0AI+know+about+that%0AThere+is+one+thing+you+must+be+sure+of%0AI+can%27t+take+any+more%0ADarling%2C+don%27t+you+monkey+with+the+monkey.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F1660%2FPeter+Gabriel_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=5263&author=Henry David Thoreau"e=++We+worship+not+the+Graces%2C+nor+the+Parcae%2C+but+Fashion.+She+spins+and+weaves+and+cuts+with+full+authority.+The+head+monkey+at+Paris+puts+on+a+traveler%27s+cap%2C+and+all+the+monkeys+in+America+do+the+same.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F8209%2FHenry+David+Thoreau_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=83459&author=Peter Gabriel"e=Shock+the+monkey+to+live.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F1660%2FPeter+Gabriel_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=83463&author=Peter Gabriel"e=Shock+the+monkey+to+life.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F1660%2FPeter+Gabriel_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=89948&author=Eddie Izzard"e=Beekeepers%2C+yes%E2%80%A6+They%27ve+gotta+want+to+be+%E2%80%93+%22I+want+to+be+a+beekeeper%21+I+wanna+keep+bees%21+Don%27t+wanna+let+them+get+away%3B+I+wanna+keep+them%21+They+have+too+much+freedom+%E2%80%A6+I+want+bees+on+elastic%2C+so+when+they+get+pollen%2C+they+come+back+here%21+My+father+was+a+beekeeper+before+me%2C+his+father+was+a+beekeeper+before+him%3B+I+wanna+walk+in+their+footsteps+%E2%80%A6+and+their+footsteps+were+like+this%3A+%5Brunning+wildly+from+imaginary+bees%5D+I%27M+COVERED+IN+BEES%21%21&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14218%2FEddie_Izzard_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=89962&author=Eddie Izzard"e=%0AYes%2C+and+the+Crusades+were%2C+%22We+kill+you+in+the+name+of+Jesus%21%22%0A%22Wait%2C+we+have+Jesus+too%21+He%27s+a+prophet+in+our+religion%21+We+kill+you+in+the+name+of+Jesus%21%22%0A%22Do+you%3F+Well%2C+we+kill+you+for+your+dark+skin%2C+for+Jesus+was+a+white+man+from+Oxford%21%22%0A%22No%2C+he+wasn%27t%21+He+was+from+Judea%21+Dark-skinned+man%2C+such+as+we%21%22%0A%22Look%2C+it%27s+just+we%27ve+come+all+this+way.+Would+you+mind+awfully+if+we+hacked+you+to+bits%3F+Just+for+the+press+back+home.%22%0A&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14218%2FEddie_Izzard_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=89944&author=Eddie Izzard"e=There%27s+no+Church+of+England+fundamentalism.+We+can%27t+have+Church+of+England+fundamentalism.+You+know%2C+like+they+have+Islamic+fundamentalism.+Jihad%21+%E2%80%A6+Ah+ha+%E2%80%A6+Church+of+England+fundamentalism+is+impossible+because+you+can%27t+have%3A+%22You+must+have+tea+and+cake+with+the+vicar...+or+you+die%21%22&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14218%2FEddie_Izzard_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=89945&author=Eddie Izzard"e=%22Bless+me%2C+Father%2C+for+I+have+sinned.+I+did+an+original+sin.+I+poked+a+badger+with+a+spoon.%22%0A%22Never+heard+of+that+one+before.+Five+Hail+Mary%27s+and+six+Hello+Dolly%27s.%22%0A%22Bless+me%2C+Father%2C+for+I+have+slept+with+my+next+door+neighbor%27s+wife.%22%0A%22Heard+it%21+I+want+an+original+sin.%22%0A%22Oh%2C+terribly+sorry.%22&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14218%2FEddie_Izzard_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=89946&author=Eddie Izzard"e=Two+languages+in+one+head%3F+No+one+can+live+at+that+speed%21+Good+Lord+man%2C+you%27re+asking+the+impossible%21+%22But%2C+the+Dutch+speak+four+languages+and+smoke+marijuana%21%22+Well+%E2%80%A6+yes%2C+but+they%27re+cheating%21+Everyone+knows+that+marijuana+is...+a+drug+enhancement+that+helps+you+on+track+and+field+to+come+last+...+in+a+team+of+eight+million+%E2%80%A6+eight+million+other+runners+who+are+all+...+dead.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14218%2FEddie_Izzard_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=89950&author=Eddie Izzard"e=%22I%27ve+wiped+the+file%3F+....+I%27ve+wiped+all+the+files%3F+....+I%27ve+wiped+the+INTERNET%3F+I+don%27t+even+have+a+modem%21%22&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14218%2FEddie_Izzard_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=89951&author=Eddie Izzard"e=%22Give+us+cash%21+I+steal+from+the+rich+and+give+to+the+poor%21+I%E2%80%99m+trying+to+be+a+myth%3B+give+us+cash%21%E2%80%9D%0A%E2%80%9CNo%2C+I%E2%80%99m+not+gonna+give+you+cash.%E2%80%9D%0A%E2%80%9CGo+on%2C+I+steal+from+the+rich.+Are+you+rich%3F%E2%80%9D%0A%E2%80%9CNo%2C+I%E2%80%99m%E2%80%A6+comfortable.%E2%80%9D%0A%E2%80%9CThat%E2%80%99s+no+good%2C+I+can%27t+steal+from+the+fairly+well+off+and+give+to+the+moderately+impoverished%21+That%E2%80%99s+not+gonna+swing%2C+is+it%3F%E2%80%9D%0A&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14218%2FEddie_Izzard_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=89953&author=Eddie Izzard"e=%22My+name+is+Mrs.+Smith%2C+I%E2%80%99ve+made+apples+out+of+bread+and+dripping%2C+a+bit+of+green+paint%2C+and+corrugated+iron.%22%0A%22No%2C+these+are+horrible+apples%2C+Mrs.+Smith.+Go+away%2C+Mrs.+Smith%21+Go+away+until+your+daughter+has+a+baby.%22%0A%22Shag%2C+daughter%2C+shag%21+It%E2%80%99s+a+marketing+idea%2C+shag+for+babies%21+%28mimes+running+back%29+My+daughter%E2%80%99s+had+a+baby%2C+I%E2%80%99m+Granny+Smith+now%21%22%0A%22Come+in%2C+Granny+Smith%21+You%27re+a+wonderful+idea%2C+you%21+Come+in+with+your+shiny+apples.%22%0A&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14218%2FEddie_Izzard_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=89956&author=Eddie Izzard"e=If+you%27ve+never+seen+an+Elephant+ski%2C+then+you%27ve+never+been+on+acid.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14218%2FEddie_Izzard_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=89958&author=Eddie Izzard"e=Religion+and+philosophy%2C+philosophy+and+religion+%E2%80%93+they%27re+two+words+which+are+both+%E2%80%A6+different.+In+spelling.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14218%2FEddie_Izzard_64x64.png){kind=link}