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Florence King
: The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.
# Wit
# Men and Women
# Love
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Florence King quote- The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit...
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Sir Peter Medawar :
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Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.
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Theodore von Kármán :
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Everyone knows it takes a woman nine months to have a baby. But you Americans think if you get nine women pregnant, you can have a baby in a month.
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Charles Baudelaire :
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The lover of life makes the whole world into his family, just as the lover of the fair sex creates his from all the lovely women he has found, from those that could be found, and those who are impossible to find.
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Andre Maurois :
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To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.
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Ambrose Bierce :
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Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
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Liz Carpenter :
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Instead of looking at life as a narrowing funnel, we can see it ever widening to choose the things we want to do, to take the wisdom we've learned and create something.
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George F Kennan :
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Now this problem of the adjustment of man to his natural resources, and the problem of how such things as industrialization and urbanization can be accepted without destroying the traditional values of a civilization and corrupting the inner vitality of its life — these things are not only the problems of America; they are the problems of men everywhere. To the extent that we Americans become able to show that we are aware of these problems, and that we are approaching them with coherent and effective ideas of our own which we have the courage to put into effect in our own lives, to that extent a new dimension will come into our relations with the peoples beyond our borders, to that extent, in fact, the dreams of these earlier generations of Americans who saw us as leaders and helpers to the peoples of the world at large will begin to take on flesh and reality.
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Elizabeth Barrett Browning :
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A woman cannot do the thing she ought, which means whatever perfect thing she can, in life, in art, in science, but she fears to let the perfect action take her part and rest there: she must prove what she can do before she does it, -- prate of woman's rights, of woman's mission, woman's function, till the men (who are prating, too, on their side) cry, A woman's function plainly is... to talk. Poor souls, they are very reasonably vexed!
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Margaret Sanger :
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...we explained simply what contraception was; that abortion was the wrong way — no matter how early it was performed it was taking a life; that contraception was the better way, the safer way — it took a little time, a little trouble, but was well worth while in the long run, because life had not yet begun.
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Harlan Ellison :
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This is a test. Take notes. This will count as 3/4 of your final grade. Hints: remember, in chess, kings cancel each other out and cannot occupy adjacent squares, are therefore all-powerful and totally powerless, cannot affect each other, produce stalemate. Hinduism is a polytheistic religion; the sect of Atman worships the divine spark of life within Man; in effect saying, "Thou art God." Provisos of equal time are not served by one viewpoint having media access to two hundred million people in prime time while opposing viewpoints are provided with a soapbox on the corner. Not everyone tells the truth. Operational note: these sections may be taken out of numerical sequence: rearrange to suit yourself for optimum clarity. Turn over your test papers and begin.
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Florence King Wisdom feed
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Florence King:
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Owning your own home is America's unique recipe for avoiding revolution and promoting pseudo-equality at the same time. To keep citizens puttering in their yards instead of sputtering on the barricades, the government has gladly deprived itself of billions in tax revenues by letting home owners deduct mortgage interest payments.
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Florence King:
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Any discussion of the problems of being funny in America will not make sense unless we substitute the word wit for humor. Humor inspires sympathetic good-natured laughter and is favored by the healing-power gang. Wit goes for the jugular, not the jocular, and it's the opposite of football; instead of building character, it tears it down.
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Florence King:
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Chinks in America's egalitarian armor are not hard to find. Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.
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Florence King:
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Showing up at school already able to read is like showing up at the undertaker's already embalmed: people start worrying about being put out of their jobs.
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Florence King:
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The proliferation of support groups suggests to me that too many Americans are growing up in homes that do not contain a grandmother. A home without a grandmother is like an egg without salt and Helpists know it. They have jumped into the void left by the disappearance of morbid old ladies from the bosom of the American family.
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Florence King:
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America is not a democracy, it's an absolute monarchy ruled by King Kid. In a nation of immigrants, the child is automatically more of an American than his parents. Americans regard children as what Mr. Hudson in Upstairs, Downstairs called betters. Aping their betters, American adults do their best to turn themselves into children. Puerility exercises droit de seigneur everywhere.
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Florence King:
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The vitamin has been reified. A chemical intangible originally defined as a unit of nutritive value, it was long ago reified into a pill. Now it is a pill; no one except a few precise scientists define it as anything else. Once the vitamin became a pill, it became real according to the precepts of American Cartesianism: I swallow it, therefore it is.
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Florence King:
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Those colorful denizens of male despair, the Bowery bum and the rail-riding hobo, have been replaced by the bag lady and the welfare mother. Women have even taken over Skid Row.
"
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Florence King:
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People are so busy dreaming the American Dream, fantasizing about what they could be or have a right to be, that they're all asleep at the switch. Consequently we are living in the Age of Human Error.
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Florence King:
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In its purest sense, nicknaming is an elitist ritual practiced by those who cherish hierarchy. For preppies it's a smoke signal that allows Bunny to tell Pooky that they belong to the same tribe, while among the good old boys it serves the cause of masculine dominance by identifying Bear and Wrecker as Alpha males.
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![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=37586&author=Florence King"e=++The+witty+woman+is+a+tragic+figure+in+American+life.+Wit+destroys+eroticism+and+eroticism+destroys+wit%2C+so+women+must+choose+between+taking+lovers+and+taking+no+prisoners.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F983%2FFlorence_King_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=65267&author=Sir Peter Medawar"e=Ahhh.+A+man+with+a+sharp+wit.+Someone+ought+to+take+it+away+from+him+before+he+cuts+himself.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F3744%2FSir+Peter+Medawar_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=92218&author=Theodore von Kármán"e=Everyone+knows+it+takes+a+woman+nine+months+to+have+a+baby.+But+you+Americans+think+if+you+get+nine+women+pregnant%2C+you+can+have+a+baby+in+a+month.%0A&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14291%2FTheodore+von_K%C3%A1rm%C3%A1n_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=17198&author=Charles Baudelaire"e=++The+lover+of+life+makes+the+whole+world+into+his+family%2C+just+as+the+lover+of+the+fair+sex+creates+his+from+all+the+lovely+women+he+has+found%2C+from+those+that+could+be+found%2C+and+those+who+are+impossible+to+find.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F95%2FCharles_Baudelaire_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=37589&author=Andre Maurois"e=++To+be+witty+is+not+enough.+One+must+possess+sufficient+wit+to+avoid+having+too+much+of+it.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F1286%2FAndre+Maurois_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=37575&author=Ambrose Bierce"e=++Wit.+The+salt+with+which+the+American+humorist+spoils+his+intellectual+cookery+by+leaving+it+out.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F120%2FAmbrose+Bierce_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=39513&author=Liz Carpenter"e=++Instead+of+looking+at+life+as+a+narrowing+funnel%2C+we+can+see+it+ever+widening+to+choose+the+things+we+want+to+do%2C+to+take+the+wisdom+we%27ve+learned+and+create+something.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F7510%2FLiz+Carpenter_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=92573&author=George F Kennan"e=Now+this+problem+of+the+adjustment+of+man+to+his+natural+resources%2C+and+the+problem+of+how+such+things+as+industrialization+and+urbanization+can+be+accepted+without+destroying+the+traditional+values+of+a+civilization+and+corrupting+the+inner+vitality+of+its+life+%E2%80%94+these+things+are+not+only+the+problems+of+America%3B+they+are+the+problems+of+men+everywhere.+To+the+extent+that+we+Americans+become+able+to+show+that+we+are+aware+of+these+problems%2C+and+that+we+are+approaching+them+with+coherent+and+effective+ideas+of+our+own+which+we+have+the+courage+to+put+into+effect+in+our+own+lives%2C+to+that+extent+a+new+dimension+will+come+into+our+relations+with+the+peoples+beyond+our+borders%2C+to+that+extent%2C+in+fact%2C+the+dreams+of+these+earlier+generations+of+Americans+who+saw+us+as+leaders+and+helpers+to+the+peoples+of+the+world+at+large+will+begin+to+take+on+flesh+and+reality.%0A&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F14306%2FGeorge+F+Kennan_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=37677&author=Elizabeth Barrett Browning"e=++A+woman+cannot+do+the+thing+she+ought%2C+which+means+whatever+perfect+thing+she+can%2C+in+life%2C+in+art%2C+in+science%2C+but+she+fears+to+let+the+perfect+action+take+her+part+and+rest+there%3A+she+must+prove+what+she+can+do+before+she+does+it%2C+--+prate+of+woman%27s+rights%2C+of+woman%27s+mission%2C+woman%27s+function%2C+till+the+men+%28who+are+prating%2C+too%2C+on+their+side%29+cry%2C++A+woman%27s+function+plainly+is...+to+talk.+Poor+souls%2C+they+are+very+reasonably+vexed%21&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F8025%2FElizabeth+Barrett+Browning_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=107611&author=Margaret Sanger"e=...we+explained+simply+what+contraception+was%3B+that+abortion+was+the+wrong+way+%E2%80%94+no+matter+how+early+it+was+performed+it+was+taking+a+life%3B+that+contraception+was+the+better+way%2C+the+safer+way+%E2%80%94+it+took+a+little+time%2C+a+little+trouble%2C+but+was+well+worth+while+in+the+long+run%2C+because+life+had+not+yet+begun.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F6198%2FMargaret+Sanger_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=81087&author=Harlan Ellison"e=This+is+a+test.+Take+notes.+This+will+count+as+3%2F4+of+your+final+grade.+Hints%3A+remember%2C+in+chess%2C+kings+cancel+each+other+out+and+cannot+occupy+adjacent+squares%2C+are+therefore+all-powerful+and+totally+powerless%2C+cannot+affect+each+other%2C+produce+stalemate.+Hinduism+is+a+polytheistic+religion%3B+the+sect+of+Atman+worships+the+divine+spark+of+life+within+Man%3B+in+effect+saying%2C+%22Thou+art+God.%22+Provisos+of+equal+time+are+not+served+by+one+viewpoint+having+media+access+to+two+hundred+million+people+in+prime+time+while+opposing+viewpoints+are+provided+with+a+soapbox+on+the+corner.+Not+everyone+tells+the+truth.+Operational+note%3A+these+sections+may+be+taken+out+of+numerical+sequence%3A+rearrange+to+suit+yourself+for+optimum+clarity.+Turn+over+your+test+papers+and+begin.%0A&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F6349%2FHarlan+Ellison_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=10722&author=Florence King"e=++Owning+your+own+home+is+America%27s+unique+recipe+for+avoiding+revolution+and+promoting+pseudo-equality+at+the+same+time.+To+keep+citizens+puttering+in+their+yards+instead+of+sputtering+on+the+barricades%2C+the+government+has+gladly+deprived+itself+of+billions+in+tax+revenues+by+letting+home+owners+deduct+mortgage+interest+payments.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F983%2FFlorence_King_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=11340&author=Florence King"e=++Any+discussion+of+the+problems+of+being+funny+in+America+will+not+make+sense+unless+we+substitute+the+word+wit+for+humor.+Humor+inspires+sympathetic+good-natured+laughter+and+is+favored+by+the+healing-power+gang.+Wit+goes+for+the+jugular%2C+not+the+jocular%2C+and+it%27s+the+opposite+of+football%3B+instead+of+building+character%2C+it+tears+it+down.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F983%2FFlorence_King_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=1231&author=Florence King"e=++Chinks+in+America%27s+egalitarian+armor+are+not+hard+to+find.+Democracy+is+the+fig+leaf+of+elitism.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F983%2FFlorence_King_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=2723&author=Florence King"e=++Showing+up+at+school+already+able+to+read+is+like+showing+up+at+the+undertaker%27s+already+embalmed%3A+people+start+worrying+about+being+put+out+of+their+jobs.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F983%2FFlorence_King_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=5039&author=Florence King"e=++The+proliferation+of+support+groups+suggests+to+me+that+too+many+Americans+are+growing+up+in+homes+that+do+not+contain+a+grandmother.+A+home+without+a+grandmother+is+like+an+egg+without+salt+and+Helpists+know+it.+They+have+jumped+into+the+void+left+by+the+disappearance+of+morbid+old+ladies+from+the+bosom+of+the+American+family.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F983%2FFlorence_King_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=8314&author=Florence King"e=++America+is+not+a+democracy%2C+it%27s+an+absolute+monarchy+ruled+by+King+Kid.+In+a+nation+of+immigrants%2C+the+child+is+automatically+more+of+an+American+than+his+parents.+Americans+regard+children+as+what+Mr.+Hudson+in+Upstairs%2C+Downstairs+called+betters.+Aping+their+betters%2C+American+adults+do+their+best+to+turn+themselves+into+children.+Puerility+exercises+droit+de+seigneur+everywhere.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F983%2FFlorence_King_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=10211&author=Florence King"e=++The+vitamin+has+been+reified.+A+chemical+intangible+originally+defined+as+a+unit+of+nutritive+value%2C+it+was+long+ago+reified+into+a+pill.+Now+it+is+a+pill%3B+no+one+except+a+few+precise+scientists+define+it+as+anything+else.+Once+the+vitamin+became+a+pill%2C+it+became+real+according+to+the+precepts+of+American+Cartesianism%3A+I+swallow+it%2C+therefore+it+is.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F983%2FFlorence_King_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=10628&author=Florence King"e=++Those+colorful+denizens+of+male+despair%2C+the+Bowery+bum+and+the+rail-riding+hobo%2C+have+been+replaced+by+the+bag+lady+and+the+welfare+mother.+Women+have+even+taken+over+Skid+Row.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F983%2FFlorence_King_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=19050&author=Florence King"e=++People+are+so+busy+dreaming+the+American+Dream%2C+fantasizing+about+what+they+could+be+or+have+a+right+to+be%2C+that+they%27re+all+asleep+at+the+switch.+Consequently+we+are+living+in+the+Age+of+Human+Error.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F983%2FFlorence_King_64x64.png){kind=link}
![Powerpoint](http://www.iwise.com/downloadPPT.php?quote_id=20100&author=Florence King"e=++In+its+purest+sense%2C+nicknaming+is+an+elitist+ritual+practiced+by+those+who+cherish+hierarchy.+For+preppies+it%27s+a+smoke+signal+that+allows+Bunny+to+tell+Pooky+that+they+belong+to+the+same+tribe%2C+while+among+the+good+old+boys+it+serves+the+cause+of+masculine+dominance+by+identifying+Bear+and+Wrecker+as+Alpha+males.&image=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwise.com%2FauthorIcons%2F983%2FFlorence_King_64x64.png){kind=link}