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They say that the wages of sin is death. But after taxes its just a tired feeling really.
Paula Poundstone
The problem is not that the churches are filled with empty pews, but that the pews are filled with empty people.
Charlie Shedd
May your home always be too small to hold all of your friends.
Blessing Irish
Diabetes is an all-too-personal time bomb which can go off today, tomorrow, next year, or 10 years from now - a time bomb affecting millions like me and the children here today.
Mary Tyler Moore
While you are away, movie stars are taking your women. Robert Redford is dating your girlfriend, Tom Selleck is kissing your lady, Bart Simpson is making love to your wife.
Iraqi radio announcer Baghdad Betty
I believe in the institution of marriage and I intend to keep trying until I get it right.
Richard Pryor
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