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They say that the wages of sin is death. But after taxes its just a tired feeling really.
Paula Poundstone
Change, when it comes, cracks everything open.
Dorothy Allison
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen
Talent is the ability to say things well, but genius is the ability to, well, say things.
Steve Martin
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Johnny Carson
Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.
Bob Newhart
Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.
Oprah Winfrey
Happiness adds and multiplies, as we divide it with others.
A Nielsen
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
Bill Nye
What goes 0-300 in less than 2 seconds? Your mother on a scale.
Alex Trebek
We look at adoption as a very sacred exchange. It was not done lightly on either side. I would dedicate my life to this child.
Jamie Lee Curtis
How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
Albert Einstein
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
Big things are expected of us, and nothing big ever came of being small.
Bill Clinton
Well, take your time and don't live too fast. Troubles will come and they will pass. Find a woman and you'll find love. Don't forget, son, there is someone up above.
Lynard Skynard
The best accessory a girl can have is her best friend.
Paris Hilton
You may not be able to leave your children a great inheritance, but day by day, you may be weaving coats for them which they will wear for all eternity.
Theodore L Cuyler
Vibrators. I think they are great. They keep you out of stupid sex. I'd pitch them to anybody.
Anne Heche
I'm only upset that I'm not a widow. [On her ex-husband Tom Arnold]
Roseanne
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