I believe in the institution of marriage and I intend to keep trying until I get it right.
The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always. Amen.
Alcoholics Anonymous Prayer
Telling the future by looking at the past assumes that conditions remain constant. This is like driving a car by looking in the rearview mirror.
The problem is not that the churches are filled with empty pews, but that the pews are filled with empty people.
cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion, between supposed lovers, between supposed brothers. And I know the pieces fit.
Maynard James Keenan
While you are away, movie stars are taking your women. Robert Redford is dating your girlfriend, Tom Selleck is kissing your lady, Bart Simpson is making love to your wife.
Iraqi radio announcer Baghdad Betty
Women are cursed, and men are the proof.
Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.
It is not something I must do but something I want to do
Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students.
I like villains because there's something so attractive about a committed person -- they have a plan, an ideology, no matter how twisted. They're motivated.
Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal.