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Rodney Dangerfield : My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. # Short Funny # Marriage # Love

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Rodney Dangerfield quote-My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday....

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O Henry Porter : " You can't appreciate home till you've left it, money till it's spent, your wife till she's joined a woman's club, nor Old Glory till you see it hanging on a broomstick on the shanty of a consul in a foreign town. " # Short Funny # Marriage # Love

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Kyril Bonfiglioli : " "No no, Jock…we're going to push him out of a window. Your bedroom window, I think. Yes, and we'll undress him first and say that he was making advances to you and jumped out of the window in a frenzy of thwarted love." "I say, Charlie, really, what a filthy rotten idea; I mean, think of my wife." "I never think of policemen's wives, their beauty maddens me like wine." " # Short Funny # Marriage # Love

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19 tweets

Robert A Heinlein : " I said that "Patriotism" is a way of saying "Women and children first." And that no one can force a man to feel this way. Instead he must embrace it freely. I want to tell about one such man. He wore no uniform and no one knows his name, or where he came from; all we know is what he did. In my home town sixty years ago when I was a child, my mother and father used to take me and my brothers and sisters out to Swope Park on Sunday afternoons. It was a wonderful place for kids, with picnic grounds and lakes and a zoo. But a railroad line cut straight through it. One Sunday afternoon a young married couple were crossing these tracks. She apparently did not watch her step, for she managed to catch her foot in the frog of a switch to a siding and could not pull it free. Her husband stopped to help her. But try as they might they could not get her foot loose. While they were working at it, a tramp showed up, walking the ties. He joined the husband in trying to pull the young woman's foot loose. No luck — Out of sight around the curve a train whistled. Perhaps there would have been time to run and flag it down, perhaps not. In any case both men went right ahead trying to pull her free... and the train hit them. The wife was killed, the husband was mortally injured and died later, the tramp was killed — and testimony showed that neither man made the slightest effort to save himself. The husband's behavior was heroic... but what we expect of a husband toward his wife: his right, and his proud privilege, to die for his woman. But what of this nameless stranger? Up to the very last second he could have jumped clear. He did not. He was still trying to save this woman he had never seen before in his life, right up to the very instant the train killed him. And that's all we'll ever know about him. This is how a man dies. This is how a man... lives! " # Short Funny # Marriage # Love

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3 tweets

Adlai E Stevenson : " I am always amazed by the resistance offered to progress, even the most innocuous progress. Imagine, if you will, jumping from one rickety bridge to another, with blind men running back and forth trying to push you off, and you will have some idea what legislating progress is like. The good news is that if you're pushed off, you can always climb back up and try again. " # Short Funny # Marriage # Love

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H L Hunt : " Wife: a former sweetheart. " # Short Funny # Marriage # Love

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Thomas Fuller : " Choose a wife by your ear than your eye. " # Short Funny # Marriage # Love

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Proverb : " A good wife and health is a mans best wealth. " # Short Funny # Marriage # Love

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Winston Churchill : " If I was your wife Sir, I'd poison you! Madam, if you were my wife, I'd let you! " # Short Funny # Marriage # Love

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41 tweets

Prince Philip Edinburgh : " When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. " # Short Funny # Marriage # Love

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Charles Baudelaire : " A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle. " # Short Funny # Marriage # Love

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Rodney Dangerfield Wisdom feed

36 tweets

Rodney Dangerfield: " I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out." # Planning

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20 tweets

Rodney Dangerfield: " My mother had morning sickness after I was born." # Mothers

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Rodney Dangerfield: " I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof." # Short Funny # Fathers # Love

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Rodney Dangerfield: " My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday." # Short Funny # Marriage # Love

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